Valentines Day when you’re in a Relationship

There’s a wealth of advice about how to survive Valentines Day when you’re single but its important to recognise that the day can be far from a bed of roses when you’re in a relationship. There can be an expectation that just because you’re not single the day should be romantic and perfect.

When I googled ‘valentines day in a relationship’ to see what words of wisdom it would come up with, it auto-filled the search to ‘everyday is valentines day when you’re in a real relationship’ I’m not sure who came up with that but real relationships are hard work. Please know that if you find having a wonderful valentines day challenging you are not alone.

Four things to remember that may help:

  1. It is o.k if you don’t celebrate valentines day. You have the right to do things your way. Maybe other dates on the calendar hold more significance for you. It can help to remember that it is just a date and you don’t have to celebrate it to meet other peoples expectations of what couples do on February 14th.
  2. Try not compare your valentines day to other peoples. What people post on social media is often not a true reflection of their everyday relationship. Its a snapshot of one day. There are people who may be showered with gifts and attention on valentines day but this is not the reality of their relationship every other day of the year.
  3. You have the right to have your boundaries respected. Valentines Day does not mean you have to say yes or feel pressured to do anything you don’t want to.
  4. You can feel lonely and be in a relationship. Maybe you can’t be together on Valentines Day, work and life commitments often don’t just disappear. Or maybe you are having a difficult time at the moment and feel disconnected from your partner. Whatever the reason, self-care and connecting with friends and family can help you get through the day.